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Study: Kids are taught to emphasize Personal Achievement over caring for others.


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#1 Zinix

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 07:11 AM

http://www.theatlant...-empathy/373378
Excerpts:

A new study from Harvard University reveals that the message parents mean to send children about the value of empathy is being drowned out by the message we actually send: that we value achievement and happiness above all else.

The Making Caring Common project at Harvard’s Graduate School of Education surveyed 10,000 middle and high school students about what was more important to them, “achieving at a high level, happiness, or caring for others.” Almost 80 percent of students ranked achievement or happiness over caring for others. Only 20 percent of students identified caring for others as their top priority.

While 96 percent of parents say they want to raise ethical, caring children, and cite the development of moral character as “very important, if not essential,” 80 percent of the youths surveyed reported that their parents “are more concerned about achievement or happiness than caring for others.” Approximately the same percentage reported that their teachers prioritize student achievement over caring. Surveyed students were three times as likely to agree as disagree with the statement “My parents are prouder if I get good grades in my class than if I’m a caring community member in class and school.
 

 


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#2 Chrop

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 07:29 AM

This has very little to do with how children are raised, it's basic human instinct to be selfish before helping others for survival sake. 


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#3 Big Boss

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 09:04 AM

Good, glad to see we're still raising humans.



#4 Portal

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 10:27 AM

Good, glad to see we're still raising humans.

Actually, I got to agree with this. I thought parenting had fallen to the wayside, but according to this study, it hasn't.

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#5 ProjectX3dsman

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 01:21 PM

Actually, I got to agree with this. I thought parenting had fallen to the wayside, but according to this study, it hasn't.

It is not good to value oneself over trying to help others. Placing finding happiness above helping people is wrong, and that is an objective truth.



#6 Nollog

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 01:31 PM

It is not good to value oneself over trying to help others. Placing finding happiness above helping people is wrong, and that is an objective truth.

Not from the point of view of evolution.

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#7 3Dude

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 01:49 PM

Good, with any luck I will only have to deal with one generation of worthless whiny slackers with BS excuses.

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#8 ProjectX3dsman

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 03:34 PM

Not from the point of view of evolution.

humanity is beyond the "need" to selfishly take what it wants to "grow". I am not an animal and neither are you or any other human being.



#9 Segata

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 03:50 PM

Yes you are an animal. Also no we're not beyond the need that's exactly what people do to get ahead in this world. Take for yourself.

 

humanity is beyond the "need" to selfishly take what it wants to "grow". I am not an animal and neither are you or any other human being.

 

 

 


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#10 ProjectX3dsman

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 03:58 PM

Yes you are an animal. Also no we're not beyond the need that's exactly what people do to get ahead in this world. Take for yourself.

 

 

There are many people who sacrifice their lives daily to others because they love them. Animals are mindless, uncaring creatures who only exist on instinct. We are beyond that limitation and are very much better than it. You are an important human being, you have worth like everyone else does. People need to start understanding that humans don't exist to serve themselves but to serve others.



#11 KeptMyWiiUAndLeftTheForums

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 05:18 PM

There are many people who sacrifice their lives daily to others because they love them. Animals are mindless, uncaring creatures who only exist on instinct. We are beyond that limitation and are very much better than it. You are an important human being, you have worth like everyone else does. People need to start understanding that humans don't exist to serve themselves but to serve others.

I get what you're saying, and humans have the potential to be better than animals, but the reality is, we're worse than them. Animals do some pretty savage stuff, but everything they do humans have done and continue to do for worse reasons, and a lot of the crappy things we do (and have no interest in fixing) animals don't do.


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#12 Portal

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 06:02 PM

Ah, perspectives. Evolution, animals, worth, God's creation, this'll make for a wonderful discussion.

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#13 Big Boss

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 06:08 PM

I get what you're saying, and humans have the potential to be better than animals, but the reality is, we're worse than them. Animals do some pretty savage stuff, but everything they do humans have done and continue to do for worse reasons, and a lot of the crappy things we do (and have no interest in fixing) animals don't do.

girl u crazy



#14 CUD

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 06:15 PM

It is not good to value oneself over trying to help others. Placing finding happiness above helping people is wrong, and that is an objective truth.

 

humanity is beyond the "need" to selfishly take what it wants to "grow". I am not an animal and neither are you or any other human being.

You need to be selfish at times to get anywhere in life. Sure selflessness and helping others is nice but to put more emphasis on that than on yourself wont end well for you. More emphasis on achieving more for yourself does not mean to neglect helping others entirely either.

For example, if a child were to want to help a friend with their studies they can't only do that or their own studies would suffer. It's about balance between helping yourself and helping others, I think so anyway. There is more emphasis is on personal achievement but that isn't a bad thing, we should all be trying to achieve the best for ourselves and helping/caring others when we can. Don't look at it as so black and white because the study does only implies an emphasis on one not a complete neglect of the other.


This statement is false. The previous statement is true.

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#15 3Dude

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 07:00 PM

You need to be selfish at times to get anywhere in life. Sure selflessness and helping others is nice but to put more emphasis on that than on yourself wont end well for you. More emphasis on achieving more for yourself does not mean to neglect helping others entirely either.
For example, if a child were to want to help a friend with their studies they can't only do that or their own studies would suffer. It's about balance between helping yourself and helping others, I think so anyway. There is more emphasis is on personal achievement but that isn't a bad thing, we should all be trying to achieve the best for ourselves and helping/caring others when we can. Don't look at it as so black and white because the study does only implies an emphasis on one not a complete neglect of the other.


It goes past even that.

A worthless whiny slacker cant actually help anyone.

Hows the slacker supposed to help his friend with the subject when he cant even do it himself.

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#16 CUD

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 07:02 PM

It goes past even that.

A worthless whiny slacker cant actually help anyone.

Hows the slacker supposed to help his friend with the subject when he cant even do it himself.

That too is true. True beans indeed.


This statement is false. The previous statement is true.

RIP in peace Nintendo.

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#17 Segata

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 07:03 PM

It goes past even that.

A worthless whiny slacker cant actually help anyone.

Hows the slacker supposed to help his friend with the subject when he cant even do it himself.

Learn what not to do from your slacker friend. I learned all I need to know what not to do in my idiot fathers decision in his life. So I learned from his mistakes what not to do.


Edited by Ryudo, 07 July 2014 - 07:09 PM.

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#18 KeptMyWiiUAndLeftTheForums

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 07:25 PM

girl u crazy

 

Only for you.

You need to be selfish at times to get anywhere in life. Sure selflessness and helping others is nice but to put more emphasis on that than on yourself wont end well for you. More emphasis on achieving more for yourself does not mean to neglect helping others entirely either.

For example, if a child were to want to help a friend with their studies they can't only do that or their own studies would suffer. It's about balance between helping yourself and helping others, I think so anyway. There is more emphasis is on personal achievement but that isn't a bad thing, we should all be trying to achieve the best for ourselves and helping/caring others when we can. Don't look at it as so black and white because the study does only implies an emphasis on one not a complete neglect of the other.

 

 

It goes past even that.

A worthless whiny slacker cant actually help anyone.

Hows the slacker supposed to help his friend with the subject when he cant even do it himself.

Definitely not true.

First ff, it depends on what you define as "successful". If you mean having so many millions you literally don't know what to do with it. Sure, that type of selfishness is probably necessary. But to make a decent to good salary, absolutely not. My father makes six figures, my mother almost six, we live in a house worth almost half a million. They both were born and raised in a third world country -and neither of them from rich families in that country-. I'm not bragging or anything, since those aren't even my accomplishments, but I'm just saying they have both gotten where they are today without being selfish.

That notion of "selfish is good" is very much an american thing, used to excuse their deplorable behavior towards each other, much like how higher ups in EA try to pretend their throwing people's lives into turmoil so they can make more is justified (which is why I'm surprised you'd say something like that 3Dude) and from what I know straight up not true.

Anyway, a child can balance not fail a class, which wouldn't make them selfish, and the fact that they would do what they can to help that person would kind of exempt them from being selfish. Even if they can't help them directly. What I'm saying is the two aren't exclusive. It's not that you either let that person fail or fail yourself, there are ways to make sure you both do the best you can.

Also there's a very big difference between being lazy and being selfish. Being selfish doesn't mean you're not selfish, and being selfless doesn't mean you're lazy. I would have thought that would be obvious.


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#19 3Dude

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 07:49 PM

Only for you.
 
 
Definitely not true.
First ff, it depends on what you define as "successful". If you mean having so many millions you literally don't know what to do with it. Sure, that type of selfishness is probably necessary. But to make a decent to good salary, absolutely not. My father makes six figures, my mother almost six, we live in a house worth almost half a million. They both were born and raised in a third world country -and neither of them from rich families in that country-. I'm not bragging or anything, since those aren't even my accomplishments, but I'm just saying they have both gotten where they are today without being selfish.
That notion of "selfish is good" is very much an american thing, used to excuse their deplorable behavior towards each other, much like how higher ups in EA try to pretend their throwing people's lives into turmoil so they can make more is justified (which is why I'm surprised you'd say something like that 3Dude) and from what I know straight up not true.
Anyway, a child can balance not fail a class, which wouldn't make them selfish, and the fact that they would do what they can to help that person would kind of exempt them from being selfish. Even if they can't help them directly. What I'm saying is the two aren't exclusive. It's not that you either let that person fail or fail yourself, there are ways to make sure you both do the best you can.
Also there's a very big difference between being lazy and being selfish. Being selfish doesn't mean you're not selfish, and being selfless doesn't mean you're lazy. I would have thought that would be obvious.

Dont stop at Zinix's BS misleading titles and snippets.

Being capable of applying yourself to earn personal acheivements >< selfish.

The only people who try to construe it as such are worthless slackers, who cant help anyone because they never learned to help themselves.

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#20 KeptMyWiiUAndLeftTheForums

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Posted 07 July 2014 - 08:33 PM

Dont stop at Zinix's BS misleading titles and snippets.

Being capable of applying yourself to earn personal acheivements >< selfish.

The only people who try to construe it as such are worthless slackers, who cant help anyone because they never learned to help themselves.

I read the whole thing just now, and it wasn't much different. The only important piece of information I seemed to miss was this: 

"Child psychologist and author Michele Borba told me the study was “incredibly important,” a “wake up call to parents, a clear indication that we need to reprioritize our parenting agendas ASAP. The science reveals the irony of the situation: happier and more successful kids care about others, they are able to relate, be concerned, and respect differences, and a lack of empathy makes kidsless successful, and less happy.” Her email went on to explain,"

which backs my point more.

i don't know what >< means, so I can't really respond to anything after that.


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