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[Hyawatta]

This was sent to Dojo-Show-Go! Episode 141, and then part 2 was added in Episode 150. Feel free to finish the story and send it in to the show.


Hey, the name’s Ash Williams, I fight the Evil Dead, and I’m darn good at it. I’ve been kick’n their butts from the present to the past and back again. But, they just don’t seem to know when to quit, you know, maybe cause they’re dead. Well now it seems that they’ve gotten smart enough to realize that they keep gett’n their butts handed to ‘em; cause I just found out that they got some kinda cockamamie, evilly, deadly scheme to Resurrect Hitler! Somehow, they think that all they need to beat me is a new commander to lead them to victory. Well, I don’t know why they think Hitler has anything to do with victory, but they sure got the cockamamie and evil parts right. I don’t care how cockamamie they are; if it’s evil and it’s dead I will kick its butt. That’s what I do, that’s who I am.

Well, first let me tell you how I became privy to this information. You see, just because something’s dead doesn’t mean it can’t feel pain, especially if being dead doesn’t stop it from trying to kill you. The thing is, being dead makes it even easier to be tortured. There’s a lot you can do to put the pain on something when you don’t have to worry about killing it. Now, about this resurrection.

In order to resurrect Hitler, they need to do some hocus pocus type of ritual. It’s basically an Evil Dead Rock Band Concert. I figure, if I can crash the party, they won’t be able to resurrect squat. I kinda don’t wanna miss out kick’n Hitler’s butt, but I guess that can still be plan B.

Here’s the plan. As much as I’d like to run right in and shoot everything in the face, I have to be smart about it, for now. I know where this thing is gonna take place. They’re getting it all set up, you know, all the instruments and stuff. The key here is that they have to get a high enough score to make this whole resurrection thing happen. So, all I’ve gotta do it beat whatever their high score is. Cause it won’t work if someone who’s alive gets the high score! I’ll sneak in and set up my guitar to play a Battle of the Bands. If I win, sweet, all I have to do is get back out of there alive. No prob. But if I lose, I guess I’ll get my chance to kick Hitler’s butt personally. Of course it’d be a lot easier if there weren’t gonna be so many deadites around. If I can’t stop Hitler then and there, he’ll just get more powerful as he builds up his army. Yea. Winning the battle of the bands it definitely my best option. So what am I wasting my time here talk’n to you for? I need to get going before they start the concert!