Mewbot

I can honestly say that I didn't go into the game awards expecting Nintendo to have the best showing, especially after last year.

I'm gonna post serious advice because I always do the opposite of what people do on these forums.

1. Make yourself more available, find and join yoga classes, or a group sport (with some girls!). Basically, get out of your house and around places with girls.

2. Next, start a conversation with a girl. Notice something nice about her clothing, or talk about a common interest. If you start out the conversation with some light flirting then she's less likely to place you in the friend zone.

3. Don't be too pushy, go at her pace. At the moment a girl I'm talking to says she's too emotionally distraught to date again after her last relationship for two more months, so end of January I'll go in for the kill. If she wants to be friends first then let that happen, but stay a little flirty to let her know you want her in your pants.

4. Bring up common interests and ask if she'd like to go with you to them. I'm going with her to a Foo Fighters concert, and today went to a movie with her. We're basically going out and she doesn't even know it. 

5. If she doesn't like you, don't worry about it. It's not your fault she doesn't like wuf members. It's okay to stalk her on Facebook after a rejection. And don't feel ashamed after a session over her photos, after all, she put them up there for the world to see. At this point it's maybe a good idea to watch her from a distance. Wait for the perfect moment to kidnap her, perhaps when she's drunk or alone. Once you've kidnapped her, there's no shame in knocking her out to shut her up. Perhaps take her to a fancy restaurant, be sure to tie her to the chair! Use chains, not rope, though, because knives are surprisingly good at cutting rope. Wear a mask to your date to make you more romantic and mysterious. A bonus effect of the mask is that it won't make things weird the next time you see her (probably in court).

6. Last of all, BE YOURSELF. I can't stress that enough. Except, maybe don't tell her about your membership of the wuf because that's weird man.

I'm also scared of how Link stands. Like his legs are so wide for a relatively skinny person. I liked the way he stood in SS more. Maybe it'll look more natural when he has his green outfit on.

Wow I am overanalysing this.

Calling it now, Zelda U will either be the greatest or one of the worst Zelda games ever. It looks really ambitious, but with a year left of development time I wonder if they'll be able to make the world feel as populated as they want it to be, from what we saw in the demo it's not very populated (cities may be different, though).

Also I want some on-screen footage because this off-screen stuff honestly made it look way worse than it previously looked.

THEY DIDN'T EVEN SAY IT'S NAME IT MUST BE BIG/CRANKY KONG

OMG NINTENDO WORLD PREMIERE

Dayum Nintendo has a lot of great exclusive games.

I think both versions pushed their systems. Smash Wii U being one of the only 1080p 60fps games on the Wii U, and certainly the only 8 player 1080 60 game on next-gen. Smash 3DS is just impressive that it doesn't feel stripped down, it has all the same characters, almost as many stages, etc. You know a game is pushing the system when it has to RESTART to exit the game.

I feel like Sakurai and his team have done an incredible job in the time they had to create some wonderful games.

Good sense of humour, if annoying at times. Never seems to have anything on topic to add the the conversation but I'm cool with that because he's funny.

10/10 "Too much water" IGN

My first FPS was probably CoD on the DS, as I was never really into FPS's until I saw that game at a really good price and had to buy it ($4!).

My favourite FPS has to be Tribes: Ascend. Wonderful multiplayer shooter with great graphics, and a focus on GAMEPLAY rather than cinematics or anything else like that. Plus, it is FREE. 

Conventional shooter gameplay has never impressed me, but Tribes differentiates itself with its unique speed-based gameplay and incredible map design. The weapons are also different to many other shooters' as most take time to go through the air, meaning hitting someone traveling at a high speed is legitimately rewarding. There's also very little pay-to-win going on with this game. While you can pay to unlock things, everything is unlockable without spending a cent (except a few cosmetic things).

Keeping up your momentum is a must if you want to win a game of capture the flag, and it feels intuitive using the jetpack and skis to do so.

Great game. I recommend it to anyone with a computer (since it's free), you will get addicted to it.

A system around 5-6 times the power of the PS4 (like the Wii U compared to the PS3), that can handle more than two GamePads at the same time, possibly introducing a new improved gamepad that is 1080p (or around that) and can be played out of the house. Online that is better than the PS4 and Xbox One's online, but still free. Doesn't have to beat the PS5 or the new Xbox's online as they will have a fee. Should be roughly the same price as the Wii U was when it came out and will be cheaper than competitors consoles. 

Interesting games that make good use of all the screens it will have. Some kind of kinect-like sensor or at least voice commands through gamepad mic. Better battery life on gamepad.

And hopefully some kind of agreement with 3rd parties instead of empty promises.

Can you imagine that whole Zelda U reveal, except them showing off Captain Toad (with Link)? That would have been hilarious. 

Porhorse makes rainbow threads, must've forgot to take his meds.

His profile pic is junk, he has little funk, his kickstarter's kerplunk.

He has no rhymes, gotta get with the times.

The internet hates him, Auzzie aggravates him.

He makes 20 threads a day, with no job how's he get pay?

This thread's not his doing? Probably off self-screwing!

I hope he knows I'm joking, with this fun that I am poking.