Hey guys

Guys, I'm currently a writer to be, and I need to know wheter I should conitinue with my story idea. Here it goes

The rain fell with intense vigor one cold and lonely night of May. The dark clouds covered every inch of the night sky concealing any trace of the moon's rays. In a cold alleyway three figures made their way through the maze like streets. Two of the individuals held long pointed spears and wore tight leather armor while the third, which stood in between the others, hid his face under a dark cloak.
The cloaked figure stopped for a moment to catch his breath. He was an average looking man with long white hair and a bushy white beard. He wore a purple attire made of fine fabric that revealed his high social status. "This is utterly ridiculous, I am a noble! Why should I be running around the streets like a mere rat?" the man mumbled under his breath.
One of his companions stopped to peer through a corner of the alleyway to make sure the perimeter was safe while the other turned to look at the cloaked man. "My lord," he began, "there is reason to believe there is a price for your head. It is not safe for you to remain in your home. Please, I beg of you as your loyal bodyguard, cooperate and follow us in silence."
The cloaked man looked up at his bodyguard with disbelief. "A price for my head? Are you insane! I have done nothing wrong! Who would arrange for such a thing?"
The bodyguard sighed. "Our sources tell us that the order comes from the Noble class. They suspect you to be associated with the illegal trafficking of slaves in the area."
"Preposterous! I have done no such thing! How dare they put a price on my head! I swear they will pay!"
"The coast is clear," whispered the second bodyguard before continuing his way down the dark alleyway.
The first bodyguard grabbed the cloaked man's arm and motioned him to move forward. "Please milord, I have heard rumors that the higher ups in the Noble class are becoming cruel and corrupted and I promise you that they will pay, but right now it's our top priority to get you to safety."
"But why the hasty retreat soldier?" the man questioned.
The bodyguard took a deep breath. "They say the man that's in charge of your assassination is none other than that dreaded mercenary, Mark "The Anarchist".
The man's eyes widened at the sound of the name and his skin grew pale and cold. "That man is nothing but a demon. I've heard nothing but horrible nightmares about him. Is it really true? Are you certain it's him?"
The soldier nodded. "We believe so."
Just then, an ear piercing scream could be heard from the shadows of the alleyway and the soldier who was leading them was nowhere in sight. The man's bodyguard automatically shoved him behind himself and drew his spear in front of him. "Who's there?" he demanded with a hint of fear in his voice.
Out of the darkness a hooded figure appeared carrying a long broadsword covered in blood. It slowly pulled his hood back revealing a young man with messy golden hair and a pair of intimidating cold golden eyes. He pointed his sword at the cloaked man and spoke with a metallic voice. "Kracious Delvara of the Delvara household, a price has been placed on your head and I intend to claim it."
The nobleman known as Kracious stood back in utter fear. His hair stood on edge, his eyes wide open, his forehead began to sweat in anxiety, he truly felt as if he was hearing death itself speak to him, claiming his soul.
His bodyguard stood loyally in front of him, spear at the ready. "Are you…. Mark "The Anarchist"?
The young man glared at him with his icy stare. "You need not concern yourself with my identity. Now, this has nothing to do with you. Leave now or I will kill you without mercy," the grip on his sword tightened.
"I…" he stammered. "will not leave my lord's side."
The young man known as Mark sighed. "As you wish." He grabbed his sword with both hands and dashed towards the bodyguard. With one swift and inhumane movement he managed to slice the soldier's spear in half, finishing it up by stabbing the man square on the chest. The ordeal barely lasted five seconds.
The bodyguard stood, blood gushing from his mouth and wound, eyes focused on his murderer. "Milord…. I am….sorry."
Mark withdrew his sword and the man collapsed on the cold wet floor. He then focused his stare on the cowardly noble while the rain slowly washed away the blood that fell on his face.
"No! Please!" the noble begged as the young man slowly made his way towards him. "You… you are nothing but a puppet controlled by those of the higher class! One day they will turn on you and kill you! Mark my words!"
His never managed to finish his sentence as the cold and sharp tip of the large broadsword pierced his chest ending his life instantly.
Mark withdrew his sword and stared at the lifeless body of the nobleman. "A puppet of the higher class," he whispered. "All I care about is ridding the world of filthy maggots like you. The rest doesn't matter." He strapped his sword on his back and disappeared into the rainy night leaving the bodies lying on the stone cold ground of the dark alleyway.

So what do you guys think? would you read a novel if it began with this. Any critism is allowed, except for Trolling

Of course I'll give some feedback, I'm going to try and give some feedback on Museum work as often as I can cause I think it's such a great idea.

The Good

- "Why should I be running around the streets like a mere rat?" I don't know why but I just loved this sentence.
- Very suspenseful and gripping beginning, leaves the reader with a lot of questions that makes them want to know more. Why was the man who killed? Who is Mark? etc
- Grammar is pretty tight give or take a few things.

The bad

-PARAGRAPHS! This was a bit of apain to get through which is sad because the narrative was good (nuff said, I agree with SDY 100% here. When reading in a book its a bit easier when there are no lines than when reading on a web page.
-Mark, they describe him as a demon but he doesn't seem that terrifying in the description.

And to answer your question, yes, I would read more