About Me
I grew up in a small village called Wasserkein, just 7 miles off the east coast of Africa. It was originally a colony of Germany's, where they trained the local elephants to swim. The elephants swam and brought food and supplies to and from Africa. It was a wonderful life.
But one day, pirates visited the island and took me, the governors daughter, back to their ship, the Death Star. They whisked me away to Antarctica, where they forced me to work for 10 long years in the diamond mines.
However, being a master escape artist, I was able to able to sneak out in the middle of the night. I would go into detail, but it's a lengthy tale. Message me for the details. Anyway, I managed to fashion a small airplane out of ice. I powered it with polar bears running on wheels. My ship was later shot down in the Bermuda Triangle, by the Canadian Navy.
Upon crashing, my polar bears and I were surrounded by sharks. They made the ultimate sacrifice in order to save me. (For those of you who care, they didn't die. They were merely forced to do silly things in order to distract the sharks so we could escape.)
With my massive strength, I managed to drag my polar bears all the way to the nearest island with me. It turns out this was Polyphemus' island. He was a giant cyclops. After he ate my polar bears, I stabbed a burning stake into his eye. I later sneaked out, hanging on the belly of the sheep.
With all of my swimming practice, I managed to swim all the way to Kansas.
After being sucked into a tornado, thrown into Wonderland, and escaping Captain Hook's clutches, I found myself lost in China. I masqueraded as a female soldier in the Chinese army (only females were allowed in the Chinese army at the time, in order to prove my honor to my father. After joining forces with King Louie, I battled the evil Shere Khan, the leader of the Huns, who threatened to kill the emperor. After a trying battle, I won, and earned a medal of honor.
In my acceptance speech, I realized there was no one to thank for what I had done. No family, no nothing. I had a hole in my heart, which could only be filled with camaraderie. How could I achieve this seemingly intangible goal? There was only one way. The Internet.
That was it! It had to be the answer! With renewed confidence in myself, I decided to sneak into an army base. Once inside, I found their experimental super-computer. I dove straight into the screen. I blacked out.
When I came to, I found myself in a white room. In the distance, I saw a colorful sign. I ran to it. It said "Google". I asked this "Google", "Oh, great Google, what is this strange place I am in?" Suddenly, many more colorful letters crashed up through the floor. The answer was there. "The Internet".
I had arrived! I was finally there! I asked the Google one more question, "Where might I find friends?". More letters appeared. After wading through all of it, I found "3dsforums.com".
I joined the site, and met many people. And after quite some time, I arrived here to meet new friends.
That is my story. My life. My memoirs. I hope you enjoyed it. Now, since you read that, maybe you won't be so quick to judge the resolve of the people of Wasserkein.
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