Cliffy B leaving epic games and the game industry

Such creative comments

They are making a new team...The programmers
Narrator: This Summer. Cliffy B, the doctors, Shigeru Miyamoto, Hideo Kojima, Todd Howard, Gabe Newell, Andy Gavin and Jason Rubin, and Ted Price join forces to make...THE PROGRAMMERS!
Rovio: You are doomed programmers! Where exactly is my disadvantage?
Newell: Let's do a headcount here. A complete stud that makes the ladies swoon before chainsaw bayonetting them to death, two men who can probably think up 1000 ways for this to come out in our favor, a living legend who kinda lives up to the legend, a man who can sneak up on you and talk you to death, a man who literally creates WORLDS, myself who can eat you any time I want, two guys who can create a new multi-million dollar IP in a snap of their fingers, a man who can not only kill you, but think of 100 different hilarious ways of doing so most of which involve turning you into a farm animal first.
Rovio: I have EA, Activision, Facebook, and iphone!
Newell: We have a Cliffy Hulk...and a portal gun.
The surprise ending is just when it seems COD and mobile gaming are about to take over, Newell finally learns to count to 3 and shoots a portal out that Half-Life 3 pops out of. Oh and Ted Price pulls out a RYNO5 and starts a symphony of destruction at Activision HQ. Also Todd Howard makes a world so large that it is literally impossible to explore in one lifetime, making multiplayer irrelevant as people will never trade it in. The game also has Bioware level writing, Gears level gunplay, Miyamoto platforming and puzzle solving, Ratchet and Clank level weapons, cinematics the level of uncharted, and stealth sections as good as MGS along with epic endings (although no-one ever reaches them).
It sells 7 billion copies on the new system made by Nintendo, Sega, and Sony "SuperStationCast...64...U...4" All the evil companies go out of business however there is less unemployment as people who used to do nothing but sit and play video games have all died off as they were unable to pull themselves away from their TVs. Overpopulation is solved and world peace is achieved as international leaders all find common ground through this godly creation. The End.