(yep, I remembered. This is a poem request from nintendo3ds. Feel free to comment, and I want to say this poem is not religion based. About a apple, as requested)
A big tree
And only one fruit
But better than a hundred
a evil temptation
calls to mankind
whispering in their ears
come closer and take a bite
take it's knowledge
take it's power
so sweet in the beginning
but then quickly turns bitter
come,
don't be shy
just one bite will do
bite and gain knowledge
bite and gain power
bite and cause chaos
bite,
and feel the wrath of the golden apple
Golden apple
Started by Elric, Aug 18 2011 08:59 PM
8 replies to this topic
#1
Elric
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The Golden Wizard
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#2
Brian6330
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Posted 18 August 2011 - 09:20 PM
It's still feels religious based. (Don't believe in any religion, but know enough about christianity to know that some parts do sound a bit religious... but I'll take your word for it that they're not meant to(yep, I remembered. This is a poem request from nintendo3ds. Feel free to comment, and I want to say this poem is not religion based. About a apple, as requested)
A big tree
And only one fruit
But better than a hundred
a evil temptation
calls to mankind
whispering in their ears
come closer and take a bite
take it's knowledge
take it's power
so sweet in the beginning
but then quickly turns bitter
come,
don't be shy
just one bite will do
bite and gain knowledge
bite and gain power
bite and cause chaos
bite,
and feel the wrath of the golden apple
)Overall, I like the poems. The stanzas have a nice length, and it has a bit of rhythmn to it. It has a nice sound
Edited by Brian6330, 18 August 2011 - 09:20 PM.
#3
BazzDropperz
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Chain Chomp
Posted 19 August 2011 - 02:48 AM
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Edited by BazzDropperz, 13 July 2014 - 11:55 PM.
#5
Elric
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Posted 24 August 2011 - 05:05 PM
Bite to cause chaos? I'm sorry, but that was a little bad. But in a funny way. LOL! XD
No offense, but your input did not do any good for improvement whatsoever. But, ill keep that in mind. Bad, but funny.
Edited by superdarkyoshi, 24 August 2011 - 05:06 PM.
#6
Auzzie Wingman
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Posted 24 August 2011 - 11:44 PM
Damn it!
I thought this was a poem about Professor Layton and the Curious Village.
SDY,
You have successfully trolled me.
I thought this was a poem about Professor Layton and the Curious Village.
SDY,
You have successfully trolled me.
Trophy Cards are classy too! LOLZIGZAGOON
#7
CaptainBravo1
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Posted 29 September 2011 - 02:45 AM
Reading this made me want a apple. Great job in my opinion =)(yep, I remembered. This is a poem request from nintendo3ds. Feel free to comment, and I want to say this poem is not religion based. About a apple, as requested)
A big tree
And only one fruit
But better than a hundred
a evil temptation
calls to mankind
whispering in their ears
come closer and take a bite
take it's knowledge
take it's power
so sweet in the beginning
but then quickly turns bitter
come,
don't be shy
just one bite will do
bite and gain knowledge
bite and gain power
bite and cause chaos
bite,
and feel the wrath of the golden apple
#8
HaHa-No
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Posted 29 September 2011 - 07:28 AM
Your so good at poetry.
I hate you for it D:<, not really.
It's a good poem. I got slightly annoyed when you didn't capitalize much though. Because my teacher never shuts up about capitals :b. He says how people in year 2 do it blah blah blah.
On the whole, it's a nice poem.
I hate you for it D:<, not really.
It's a good poem. I got slightly annoyed when you didn't capitalize much though. Because my teacher never shuts up about capitals :b. He says how people in year 2 do it blah blah blah.
On the whole, it's a nice poem.
^Click it
^I agree with this guy
You know you want to! 'Tis leaked Nintendo information!
#9
GeneralCraezy
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Posted 30 September 2011 - 08:34 AM
cool, nice poem
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