16 replies to this topic

[Tsuchinoko]

Hi guys let me explain the situation.

I live with my grandmother and I am getting kicked out on September 16th. My mother is kicking me out because I have cut her out of my life because she is very controlling and doesn't approve of how I do not want to go to school and I just want to work and find a place. After I cut ties with her she makes it very hard for me to see my 13 and 2 year old brother. It's almost impossible to see them now. My mom is a vengeful person and I hate what she is doing. My grandmother is all for me leaving too because she doesn't want me living in the house anymore. It's not that I am hard to live with, just that she is like 70 and wants to be alone. I have no one to go to here in NY. I can't live with family because they are all crazy and on my moms side. I can't live with my dad because things there are already tight and it would be hard to have another person live there.

I have been looking for work for a very long time and nothing has come along until recently. My dad has helped me get an interview for Stop and Shop since he works at one in Westchester for ten years. They are going to hire me most likely. They will call me next week. But the thing is I will still be screwed and wouldn't be able to move out in two months because the job is part time and it just isn't enough time to save enough money. So I don't know what I would do after I get kicked out. And it's not a job I can just quit because people have tried hard to help me get it. So taking the job now and just quitting two months later isn't good.

I have another option though. My friend and his girlfriend are willing to let me live with them until I get on my feet. Only problem is they live in Indiana. They say jobs up there are plentiful and pay way better than here in NY. And that cost of living is cheap like Florida. I used to live in Florida so I know how nice that is. I want to go, but I don't want to just leave my dad and not see him when I feel like it. Plus moving would make it impossible to ever see my brothers at all.

The part that hurts me the most is that my brother Corbin is only 2. He will most likely not even remember who I am with what my mom is doing. And I can guarantee that if I move.

I want you guys input on what you think I should do. And why you think I should. I need to hear other opinions to help me make a decision. Should I go to Indiana or should I stay here in NY?

[Foot]

Sorry to here whats goin on dude...

Considering you sound close to your brothers I would stay in NY, but considering how your mother is would she even allow you to be around them?

The smart decision IMO would be Indiana because there's probably more opportunity out there, and it can give u more time to get on your feet

[BanjoKazooie]

Man that sucks, I would move to Indiana. There is a lot of opportunities for you there. If you can get back on your feet, then you could try to move back to NYC and see your brothers.

[Blake]

Man that sucks, I would move to Indiana. There is a lot of opportunities for you there. If you can get back on your feet, then you could try to move back to NYC and see your brothers.

 

This.

[Sage]

Yeah there are opportunities here, you need to do the smart thing. Even if you stay there you still wont get to see you brothers because of your mother. You can always go back when you get your money situation stable.

[dante👌]

Yeah man, go to indiana. It's a great state *i know this because i live in it*. But hopefully you can get back on your feet soon. Wish i could help more but i can't :l

[Julio93]

Wow man that is serious, I say go to Indiana, that is a very bad position you are in.

[SolxBurst]

It sound like whether you stay or not, your brother still won't ever know you, which I am very sorry that you have been put into this situation. I have to say that moving out to Indiana would be the better choice.

[Tsuchinoko]

Wow, looks like everyone sees it unanimously. I am going to call up my friends later and figure the whole thing out of how I'll get there. Thank you for all your thoughts on the matter. You guys did help me a lot. Thank you.

[BnB]

Hmmm, everybody acts like it's easy just to get up and leave to another state to live with a friend. Not as easy as it sounds....

 

There's really no way your father would let you stay with him? I mean, if you get a job you could help him pay bills...

 

There's no way you can negotiate with your mother? Why don't you just go to school then?  I mean, think about it....

You obviously have no where to go so why don't you suck it up and deal with her (if possible)? I think you should do what you got to do to be in good terms with your mom. 

 

Moving to Indiana seems all fine and daddy until you actually move there, did you think of the negative outcomes?

How stable are your friends?

What if you guys get in an argument, then what are you going to do?

What if they get tired of you eventually?

What if you don't like it there? Indiana is a big change from NY.

You really don't know a person until you live with them...

 

In my opinion, you should find a way to convince your mother and grandmother to let you stay ATLEAST longer than 2 months. Atleast give you enough time to find 2 jobs or atleast a better job so you can get on your feet and eventually move out.

 

I don't know why everybody's telling you just to move to Indiana like it's easy or something...

Just try looking at your situation from different perspectives.

Edited by BnB, 11 July 2013 - 02:50 PM.

[Tsuchinoko]

Hmmm, everybody acts like it's easy just to get up and leave to another state to live with a friend. Not as easy as it sounds....

There's really no way your father would let you stay with him? I mean, if you get a job you could help him pay bills...

There's no way you can negotiate with your mother? Why don't you just go to school then? I mean, think about it....
You obviously have no where to go so why don't you suck it up and deal with her (if possible)? I think you should do what you got to do to be in good terms with your mom.

Moving to Indiana seems all fine and daddy until you actually move there, did you think of the negative outcomes?
How stable are your friends?
What if you guys get in an argument, then what are you going to do?
What if they get tired of you eventually?
What if you don't like it there? Indiana is a big change from NY.
You really don't know a person until you live with them...

In my opinion, you should find a way to convince your mother and grandmother to let you stay ATLEAST longer than 2 months. Atleast give you enough time to find 2 jobs or atleast a better job so you can get on your feet and eventually move out.

I don't know why everybody's telling you just to move to Indiana like it's easy or something...
Just try looking at your situation from different perspectives.

My mom is vengeful and she has not been a very great person to me for years. I know exactly how she works. She doesn't listen to reason.

As for my dad, no I cannot go live with him.

My friend in Indiana used to live here a few blocks away from me and I used to live with him until he moved. So I know what it's like to live with him.

Also of course it's not gonna be easy, but change is good and from what my friends tell me their is much more work to find.

[BnB]

My mom is vengeful and she has not been a very great person to me for years. I know exactly how she works. She doesn't listen to reason.

As for my dad, no I cannot go live with him.

My friend in Indiana used to live here a few blocks away from me and I used to live with him until he moved. So I know what it's like to live with him.

Also of course it's not gonna be easy, but change is good and from what my friends tell me their is much more work to find.

 

Then go for it.

 

I wasn't implying that moving to Indiana was a bad idea, I just wanted to make sure you weighed out your options. Felt like some of the advice given to you from this forum was clearly by people without any idea of what it takes to live on your own like an adult. 

 

Whatever you choose, I'm sure you'll be fine. 

Hope everything works out.

[Tsuchinoko]

Then go for it.

I wasn't implying that moving to Indiana was a bad idea, I just wanted to make sure you weighed out your options. Felt like some of the advice given to you from this forum was clearly by people without any idea of what it takes to live on your own like an adult.

Whatever you choose, I'm sure you'll be fine.
Hope everything works out.

Thank you. I know what you meant when I read it. I was open to all different opinions because that would help make a better decision.

[grahamf]

_{Have you considered applying at a Temp Agency, such as Kelly Services?}

 

_{With the economy down hiring temporary workers is becoming more popular, and it allows you to flesh out your resume (and buy time) so you can get a permanent job.}

[Tsuchinoko]

<sub>Have you considered applying at a Temp Agency, such as Kelly Services?

With the economy down hiring temporary workers is becoming more popular, and it allows you to flesh out your resume (and buy time) so you can get a permanent job.</sub>

I did think about doing this. I was going to go to one soon. It seemed like a good idea.

[SoldMyWiiUAndLeftTheForums]

Sorry to  hear about your situation dude, I hope things get better for you soon

[Zinix]

Well, you're  in quite the dilemma, aren't you?

 

Even though I've never been in this predicament before, I  think I might understand your problem. Since you have no where else to stay, I would move to the new state.  It's opens up the door for  new opportunities, and overall it's a breathe of fresh air.  I assume that you would save up money before going to Indiana, and that you'll work a little a bit before moving, right? If so you'll be okay for a while if you save up your money. In your situation its best for you to move to Indiana. If there's better job opportunities that pay more than here in NY, I say go for it.  It's completely out of your control, but the best right now is to make the best out of your situation. It's better to take the risk then not doing it. This is completely unfair to your younger brother though.  Your mother is also acting like a juvenile children, she should respect what you want to do with your life, it isn't hers. Hopefully everything works out for you, I've never been in your place before, but I know how hard it is when the world just doesn't seem to give a rainbow about you. 

 

Once again, I hope everything goes well for you and you get out of this sticky situation.