Freudian_Slip

This is my prediction of the Nintendo Press Conference at E3 2012:

There may be a conflict of interests that can end up annoying Nintendo fans. Nintendo probably wants to show the world that they are being taken seriously by third party publishers with their core games. Because of this, it will be in Nintendo's interests to devote time to EA, Ubisoft, and Activision's big games. I mean, I can see Nintendo giving a ten minute demonstration of how much better Black Ops 2 is on the Wii U. I'm sure EA's John Riccitiello will go on stage and talk about all their support on the system (Battlefield, Origin ?). And then Ubisoft's Yves Guillemot will want to talk about Assassin's Creed and Rayman Legends. By then, a half hour will have gone by with just talk of "core" games that Nintendo fans have already seen on other systems hundreds of times. I'm not denying its importance, I'm just saying it may be boring.



And don't forget, Iwata always likes to give a business lecture at the start of the conference. He'll be talking almost directly to the investors, explaining how the Wii suffered near the end of its lifetime and Nintendo had its first annual financial loss ever. He'll say how Nintendo knows what they have to do to reverse their fortunes. They need to entice the hardcore gamer while continuing to expand the mainstream casual market. This speech will take at least ten to fifteen minutes in itself. So, after Iwata's talk and the hardcore demonstrations, the conference will be 45 minutes in.


Granted, there will probably be a few suprise announcements like GTA V and Crysis 3, maybe even Diablo 3. But, Nintendo fans will probably be jumping out of their seats already to see HD Nintendo games in action. But, no. Nintendo will then want to show that they haven't abandoned the casual mainstream audience and they will show the newest versions of Wii Sports, Wii Fit, Nintendogs, and Brain Age. After that, they will want to show how Wii U is a great social networking/media device. The Nintendo Network will be shown as a competitor to PSN and XBL and it will have things like video chat and Swapnote Wii U, plus a built-in art program. Nintendo will show how you can use the controller to surf the internet, watch TV or movies, access Facebook and other social networks, read a book, like on Kindle, and download smaller games from the eShop. But, that will all be leading to another point Nintendo wants to focus on: the ability to do any of these things while away from your TV screen. They'll show a girl looking through her bedroom window at the snow falling outside, taking a picture with the controller, and then sending it directly to her Facebook page. They'll show a teenager lying on his bed while playing an FPS. And finally, they probably won't show someone playing Angry Birds in the bathroom. (But they should!)



Nintendo fans will be going nuts by now because they haven't seen any Zelda or Metroid. However, I skipped one important point. Retro Studios. In the hardcore gaming section of the conference, Nintendo will show how they themselves have been hard at work trying to woo the hardcore gamer by getting Retro Studios to make a new IP, an FPS with online multiplayer that will compete with the best in the business. (That Starfox-Metroid rumor smells off to me.) This game will look extremely epic and stunning, even to Nintendo fans who wanted Retro to be working on anything other than another FPS.



But, the fans have been waiting more than an hour already to see Nintendo games. No such luck. It's time for the 3DS to get a little bit of the limelight. Cue tons of third party games including hordes of games that have been transferred from the flailing Vita to the 3DS. There will finally be a handful of FPS games shown embracing the third dimension. And Nintendo will have a few star games to show such as New Super Mario Bros 2 and a new Zelda game. Lastly, the eshop will have a proliferation of games coming from Nintendo and beloved smaller development teams like Renegade Kid and Wayforward Technologies. Between the soon to be massive library of third party releases announced for the 3DS and Nintendo's own star-studded holiday titles, the 3DS won't need much else to sell it to the investors.



Nintendo fans, by this point, are having heart attacks. Ambulances have been called to resuscitate those who have fainted. When will the HD Nintendo games be shown?? Reggie walks on to the stage with a grin on his face. He knows there is only twenty minutes left to the 2-hour presentation. After a pep-talk, building the hype in the room, the screen darkens and everyone knows the time has come.

Super Smash Bros. Wii U - 3D. Pikmin 3 for Launch. New Super Mario Bros Mii. A highlight reel gives short but mind-blowing looks Zelda Wii U, Super Mario _____ Wii U, and Metroid Wii U.



Nintendo fans are desperate for more but they will have to live with the brief glimpses they've been given into the future of Nintendo's cherished franchises. Youtube will be full of trailer analyses and websites will be studying the handful of screenshots like they were pages added on to the Bible. But, Nintendo isn't finished yet. They've saved the best for last.



With five minutes left to the press conference, Miyamoto walks on the stage, alone, holding a Wii U controller. He tells the crowd he has something new to show. He finally has made a new IP to add to the treasure trove he has already amassed for himself. It's completely revolutionary and will introduce new forms of gameplay to the gaming world at large. What is it?

For the answer to that question, dear readers, you'll have to wait just a bit longer...