16 replies to this topic

[StreetPassWanter]

The rules are simple: Tell a joke not mentioned in this thread. Then, click the "like this" button when you find a joke you really like. Whoever has the most likes wins! Oh, and this is an ongoing thing!

My Joke:

I used to rule at Zelda, but then I took a Light Arrow to the knee.


(PS: You can steal from the interwebz! Although it'd be better if you didn't)

[Tipzil]

I made this up:

#1: What did the Ocean say to the sea?
#2: What?
#1: Nothing It Just Waved
#2: oh
#1: Do you Sea What I did there?
#2: No
#1: I'm Shore You Did
#2: How do you have friends?
#1: Don't be such a Beach!

[Xiombarg]

What do you do when an elephant comes in your window?

Spoiler

Swim

[StreetPassWanter]

Two men walk into a bar.

Man 1: Can I have some H20?
Man 2: I'll have some H20, too!

The second man died the next day.

[Tipzil]

A Man walks into a Bar

Spoiler

And Says 'ow'

Here's another one
Guy1- Look!
Guy2-What?
Guy1-A Magical Slide!
Guy1-I'll go first!
(whatever they say, that's what they'll land in)
Guy1- MONEY!
*Lands In Money*
Guy2- ALCOHOL!
*Lands In Alcohol*
Guy3- *Trips Over* "Sh!T!!!

Guess what he lands in XD

[ThePumpkinKing]

How do you bother Lady Gaga?

POKER FACE!

[Auzzie Wingman]

A priest walks into a bar, after a hard day... probably mopping the floor between the pews, and asks for an apple cider.

Next to him, a loud, disorderly drunkard tries to make a deal with the bartender to give him another drink, but to no avail.

"Look, you've had one too many" said the Bartender.
"Naosh, vluk sheer mishtah!..." said the drunk, trailing off into mumbling stutter.

The bartender asks the priest to take the drunk man to his house. He gives him the address, and walks off to the kitchen.

The priest attempts to talk him into getting up, but he's too intoxicated for anything to get through at this point, so the priest grabs him off the stool. Unfortunately, the man falls to the ground.

The priest attempts to get the man off the ground several times, and after some trial and error, is able to drag him to the car. The priest takes the drunk man to the place written down on a piece of paper.

When they arrive, the priest hauled out the drunk man, but he's still too intoxicated to walk on his own two feet.
After climbing up a steep driveway, a woman opens it.

"Oh my, did you bring him all the way here from the pub?..."

She gives a puzzling look to the priest.

"What is it?" gasped the priest, still trying to catch his breath.

"Uhm, you didn't drag him all the way here, did you?"

"Yeah, I did, and I tell you, I have never seen a man so off his tit that he couldn't move his legs."

Spoiler

"Oh, that sucks, I've got to go back later and get his wheelchair."

[Hinkik]

This is a strange swedish joke

Once upon a time there was two elks that was flying. Then the first elk said Hey but we can't fly or talk. Then the other one said I doesn't matter cause my grandma has a toaster.

[StreetPassWanter]

Bob, a sixth grader, walked into his dad's study while his dad was working on the computer.

"Dad," said Bob, "Remember when you told me you'd give me thirty dollars if I passed my science test?"

Dad nodded.

Spoiler

"Well, the good news is that I just saved you thirty bucks."

Edited by StreetPassWanter, 15 January 2012 - 08:10 AM.

[HaoSenVastForest]

Okay Chinese joke:

There was a boat sailing when all of a sudden a god comes down and asks for a man. They all thought that the man did something wrong so they just threw the dude at the god as he took him away.

Well it turns out that the god was saving the man and the crew hit a rock and sank.

[StreetPassWanter]

[WisdomPowerCourage]

So a magician's walking down the street, then he turns into a grocery store.

[Waller]

So a magician's walking down the street, then he turns into a grocery store.

[Xiombarg]

At first, I was going to like your post, but then I realized it was from 9gag.

[Auzzie Wingman]

Seems like everything is coming from 9Gag nowadays.

Remember the good old days when people used to use Funnyjunk because it had tolerable navigation?

[Bill Cipher]

Terrible joke. This will make you groan, but I'll redeem it later

What did Watson say to Sherlock when they were impersonating gangesters?


WASSUP HOLMIE


Okay, time for a great joke.

A man is the Zelda Franchise's biggest fan. Let's call him Andy. He spends all his money buying every game in the series and then sets out to create a perfect timeline after playing every game and taking notes. However, upon submitting it to Nintendo, he realizes that he forgot Twilight Princess from the timeline. When Nintendo sends it back, they write a note reading:

Spoiler

"Looks like you are missing a Link."

OH YEAH!!!!!

Edited by Domini N Unova, 30 January 2012 - 07:55 PM.

[Waller]

At first, I was going to like your post, but then I realized it was from 9gag.

Looks like it still got your like, though.